When I was a young boy, I was considered to be one of the more rambunctious students. Although my grades were considered above average, I was continuously subject to the humiliation of “silent lunches” and “pink slips”. It seemed there was little the teachers could do to get me to learn from my mistakes and retain certain comments made; however, my mother knew what measures had to be taken.
The time span in which this story is set is from my years of preschool all the way up to 5th grade. During these years, what I would do or say could not be predicted. My parents wanted to be trusting in me, their son, but also knew that they had to keep out a watchful eye, just in case. After numerous predicaments involving myself getting in trouble with certain authority figures of my school, my mother decided that extreme measures had to be taken. She developed a system which worked wonders in the eyes of my teachers and herself. This system of hers, which became a development milestone of my younger years, was based solely on the effectiveness of bribery.
Now, this bribery was not as simple as make a deal or dangling candy in front of my face. My mother knew that the prize would always have to be in my eyesight or my motivation would shatter and I would return to old habits. For this reason, she planted a watchful eye in none other than my teacher whose job it already was to keep an eye on myself as well as the rest of the class. Her plan (which may not have been originally hers; I still am unsure) was simple. She would hand the teacher an index card at the beginning of each week with the numbers one through five written on it. At the end of the week my teacher would rate my in-class attitude and behavior from a 1 (being the worst) to a 5 (being the best).
By this decree my life was given new meaning. I finally had a reason to be polite, respectful, and do things such as looking others in the eye during a conversation. Before this system began, I never thought about why my parents repeatedly corrected me on my manners. All I would do was nod my head, correct myself, and then revert to my old habits as soon as the parent had left. But with this new system, good manners had meaning as well as reward.
At the end of each month my mother would tally up the points of the four or five index cards given to her by my teacher. The higher amount of points I got, the better the prize. Now since this process occurred every month, the prizes weren’t too extravagant; but they were nonetheless worth working for. Just the thought of getting at least 18 or 22 points and earning an Auntie Anne’s cinnamon pretzel would cause my mouth to water. But it wasn’t just the rewards that made me keep at it; the reaction I was getting from others had a part in my continued 4’s or 5’s.
When this system was developed, it served as my first lesson in communication with others. I saw first-hand how much others enjoyed being respected and treated nice as well as how others treated me with respect in return. Along with a full stomach and some cinnamon-smothered taste buds, my months would also yield new friends and experiences. Having manners did pay off very well for me, but not in the way I initially expected it to.
My mother developed other systems similar to this to use for grades and chores around the house. Her knowledge of my personality and her ability to motivate me to be polite and do well in school were key elements in my becoming who I am today. Her support, as well as the support of the rest of my family, greatly helped me in both my education and social life. For this, I am forever in their debt.
You mother's strategies seemed well matched to your needs! If you were a teacher, would you use this approach? Why or why not? - fogleman
When I was a young boy, I was considered to be one of the more rambunctious students. Although my grades were considered above average, I was continuously subject to the humiliation of “silent lunches” and “pink slips”. It seemed there was little the teachers could do to get me to learn from my mistakes and retain certain comments made; however, my mother knew what measures had to be taken.
The time span in which this story is set is from my years of preschool all the way up to 5th grade. During these years, what I would do or say could not be predicted. My parents wanted to be trusting in me, their son, but also knew that they had to keep out a watchful eye, just in case. After numerous predicaments involving myself getting in trouble with certain authority figures of my school, my mother decided that extreme measures had to be taken. She developed a system which worked wonders in the eyes of my teachers and herself. This system of hers, which became a development milestone of my younger years, was based solely on the effectiveness of bribery.
Now, this bribery was not as simple as make a deal or dangling candy in front of my face. My mother knew that the prize would always have to be in my eyesight or my motivation would shatter and I would return to old habits. For this reason, she planted a watchful eye in none other than my teacher whose job it already was to keep an eye on myself as well as the rest of the class. Her plan (which may not have been originally hers; I still am unsure) was simple. She would hand the teacher an index card at the beginning of each week with the numbers one through five written on it. At the end of the week my teacher would rate my in-class attitude and behavior from a 1 (being the worst) to a 5 (being the best).
By this decree my life was given new meaning. I finally had a reason to be polite, respectful, and do things such as looking others in the eye during a conversation. Before this system began, I never thought about why my parents repeatedly corrected me on my manners. All I would do was nod my head, correct myself, and then revert to my old habits as soon as the parent had left. But with this new system, good manners had meaning as well as reward.
At the end of each month my mother would tally up the points of the four or five index cards given to her by my teacher. The higher amount of points I got, the better the prize. Now since this process occurred every month, the prizes weren’t too extravagant; but they were nonetheless worth working for. Just the thought of getting at least 18 or 22 points and earning an Auntie Anne’s cinnamon pretzel would cause my mouth to water. But it wasn’t just the rewards that made me keep at it; the reaction I was getting from others had a part in my continued 4’s or 5’s.
When this system was developed, it served as my first lesson in communication with others. I saw first-hand how much others enjoyed being respected and treated nice as well as how others treated me with respect in return. Along with a full stomach and some cinnamon-smothered taste buds, my months would also yield new friends and experiences. Having manners did pay off very well for me, but not in the way I initially expected it to.
My mother developed other systems similar to this to use for grades and chores around the house. Her knowledge of my personality and her ability to motivate me to be polite and do well in school were key elements in my becoming who I am today. Her support, as well as the support of the rest of my family, greatly helped me in both my education and social life. For this, I am forever in their debt.
You mother's strategies seemed well matched to your needs! If you were a teacher, would you use this approach? Why or why not? -